In a previous post I refer to my Brother as Weeny. This is because he is shorter and thinner than me which makes me jealous, nothing more. I can't tell you how much it sucks to grow through High School and have all the girls hating you because 'you don't look enough like your brother, why can't you look more like your brother'.
I can assure you the nick name also has nothing to do with our man appendages. Rest assured that men in our clan carry on the tradition of maintaining fine horse like love staves.
*ahem*
So I'll change his Nick name then.
From now on, he shall be Surfy Smurf.
Tuesday 8 January 2008
Friday 14 December 2007
Fuzzules
Fuzzy Wuzzy has a habit of running full bolt from one end of the house to the other. He stops himself by crashing into the TV and laughing uproariously. He has done it so hard so often that he has pushed the back panel of the TV cabinet off. This is solid wood panels nailed into place and not just some poxy laminated MDF mind you.
ARGH!!
ARGH!!
Wednesday 12 December 2007
A little Slice Of paradise
As my dearest mother has pointed out, I have failed to blog about my holiday in Sydney recently. The one where my brother finally tied the knot with his girl of some 2 to three years. I'll call him Weany (cause he is half my size but the elder brother) and I'll call her Stunna (cause she is one).
Yes, one week of fully paid apartment in Northern Sydney to enjoy some of the fruits of the sea and one evening of love, custom and a hell of a party. The other four days of keeping the kids under control was fulsome in it's tiring way. You see the wind was shocking so we couldn't get to the beach much. Even then the beach right out our front door was very rough and had blue bottles swarming.
The one day I did have a morning at the beach left me with buoyed spirits for the rest of the day.
But on the plus side I could hang out with my parents whom I love dearly and see Weany finally come to the realisation that it is all over and he can at last settle down whilst generally chilling the f*&k out. I won't repeat the little dummy spit he had at me and the other groomsmen before the reception.
But one of the best things of all was my lovely little string bean as the flower girl. She was in serious danger of upstaging the bride. Her hair, her outfit and above all her chirpy and vivacious demeanor set everyone to adoration. Especially Nan.
Yes, one week of fully paid apartment in Northern Sydney to enjoy some of the fruits of the sea and one evening of love, custom and a hell of a party. The other four days of keeping the kids under control was fulsome in it's tiring way. You see the wind was shocking so we couldn't get to the beach much. Even then the beach right out our front door was very rough and had blue bottles swarming.
The one day I did have a morning at the beach left me with buoyed spirits for the rest of the day.
But on the plus side I could hang out with my parents whom I love dearly and see Weany finally come to the realisation that it is all over and he can at last settle down whilst generally chilling the f*&k out. I won't repeat the little dummy spit he had at me and the other groomsmen before the reception.
But one of the best things of all was my lovely little string bean as the flower girl. She was in serious danger of upstaging the bride. Her hair, her outfit and above all her chirpy and vivacious demeanor set everyone to adoration. Especially Nan.
Wednesday 5 December 2007
A litle trip to Hell
I had a free corporate training junket to the coast last week. Not only was it great socialisation with my colleagues, but my family could join me for a mini-break at the beach.
Or so one would hope. One of the problems with having ankylosing spondilitis is aphthae. Aphthae are severe mouth and throat ulcers. Very painful stuff. As luck would have it I had a break out on Wednesday night. Heres a lovely picture of one (note, not from my mouth)
My outbreak was a little different. I'm not talking unkissable lips. I'm talking a major infestation of my entire throat. Multiple ulcers. One that even extended down the back of my throat. It wasn't pretty.
I really can't describe how painful it is. Think of it as having a raw and red open wound in your throat. Every time you swallow is pure agony. Any food is like salt and sandpaper.
You know how you constantly blink without knowing it to keep your eyeballs moist? Well you also constantly swallow so you don't drown in your own saliva. And I felt the passage of every single one of these swallows in excruciating detail.
I can only think of how insane I must have looked to my fellow employees as I would wince in horror every 5 minutes.
No one knows what it's like. I've never met another AS sufferer and my family is tired of wasting sympathy on me.
What am I to do?
Harden the f*&k up of course.
Or so one would hope. One of the problems with having ankylosing spondilitis is aphthae. Aphthae are severe mouth and throat ulcers. Very painful stuff. As luck would have it I had a break out on Wednesday night. Heres a lovely picture of one (note, not from my mouth)
My outbreak was a little different. I'm not talking unkissable lips. I'm talking a major infestation of my entire throat. Multiple ulcers. One that even extended down the back of my throat. It wasn't pretty.
I really can't describe how painful it is. Think of it as having a raw and red open wound in your throat. Every time you swallow is pure agony. Any food is like salt and sandpaper.
You know how you constantly blink without knowing it to keep your eyeballs moist? Well you also constantly swallow so you don't drown in your own saliva. And I felt the passage of every single one of these swallows in excruciating detail.
I can only think of how insane I must have looked to my fellow employees as I would wince in horror every 5 minutes.
No one knows what it's like. I've never met another AS sufferer and my family is tired of wasting sympathy on me.
What am I to do?
Harden the f*&k up of course.
Friday 23 November 2007
Weaning
Stare Bear has popped off the breakfast bumps after only a year. He is a much better eating baby than the other two were. So I suppose he is easily getting everything he needs from the food we give him.
You see, unlike the other two, Stare Bear HATES to eat canned baby food. He does love pureed family food though. So each dinner has a portion put in the blender for him. He loves it dearly. He especially loves Lamb Roast. Just like his old man.
So, the boobs are in full itch mode and Lishy is praying she doesn't get the evil mastitis.
Isn't it genius how that word contains 'tit'.
You see, unlike the other two, Stare Bear HATES to eat canned baby food. He does love pureed family food though. So each dinner has a portion put in the blender for him. He loves it dearly. He especially loves Lamb Roast. Just like his old man.
So, the boobs are in full itch mode and Lishy is praying she doesn't get the evil mastitis.
Isn't it genius how that word contains 'tit'.
Monday 5 November 2007
A Minor Vent
The good wife and I recently had some bi fold doors installed in the house.
They look great but they do need some work. Of course there is a small list of niggles about the general workmanship but by and large we have gotten what we paid for.
Until Yesterday.
Fuzzy Wuzzy, tearing up the joint like a 3 year old is want to do, got his shoe caught underneath one of the doors. A moment of tugging and his foot was free. This was sufficient to unseat the whole door and bring it crashing down on his head.
Luckily the door hit the back of the sofa and didn't go all the way to the ground. I am in dread to think what would have happened if it did. Fuzzy Wuzzy had a bright red ear and he was freaked out. But it soon passed and he was back to tearing up the joint.
Examining the door I found that one of the mounting holes for the track rollers at the top had been drilled too large, so the installer had stuck a roll of cardboard in the hole to make it smaller. There must have been enough give in it to allow the door to tilt off it's base and fall out. Both the mounting hole and the door track itself were bent out of shape from the weight of the door. Coincidentally, the door will have to be completely replaced now the wood has been essentially gouged out at the top.
Incredible!
We'll see what comes of the visit this week from the shop we bought it from. No no, I'll not name names for now.
They look great but they do need some work. Of course there is a small list of niggles about the general workmanship but by and large we have gotten what we paid for.
Until Yesterday.
Fuzzy Wuzzy, tearing up the joint like a 3 year old is want to do, got his shoe caught underneath one of the doors. A moment of tugging and his foot was free. This was sufficient to unseat the whole door and bring it crashing down on his head.
Luckily the door hit the back of the sofa and didn't go all the way to the ground. I am in dread to think what would have happened if it did. Fuzzy Wuzzy had a bright red ear and he was freaked out. But it soon passed and he was back to tearing up the joint.
Examining the door I found that one of the mounting holes for the track rollers at the top had been drilled too large, so the installer had stuck a roll of cardboard in the hole to make it smaller. There must have been enough give in it to allow the door to tilt off it's base and fall out. Both the mounting hole and the door track itself were bent out of shape from the weight of the door. Coincidentally, the door will have to be completely replaced now the wood has been essentially gouged out at the top.
Incredible!
We'll see what comes of the visit this week from the shop we bought it from. No no, I'll not name names for now.
Tuesday 18 September 2007
1-2-3 Magic!
Recently the wife and I attended church. Calm down calm down, we aren't converting. We were attending a parenting workshop called "1, 2, 3 Magic!" The workshop was being held at Kippax community church.
What it amounted to was a three hour video from a PHD Psychotherapist about controlling children's behaviour. While that may not seem worth $10 a head, the three hours free child care that came with it certainly was.
1, 2, 3, Magic is basically a child behaviour control technique. A process to follow when the kid acts up or misbehaves. It is designed in such a way as to get them to comply with your demands before the punishment is doled out. It takes a certain idea of what is right and wrong to apply the method going in, but if you follow the procedure all will be goodness and light.
This method would benefit people who:
It basically harnesses the simple concept of having a discipline regimen and applying it consistently and fairly. That's it. By adding a specific structure they created a saleable product based on something every parent should bloody well know in the first place.
The presentation includes a lot of details around the logic behind a kids behaviour, what they will and will not respond to and how to better view your role as a parent. I would recommend one checking it out but only as a single peice in your repertoire of No-Good-Sneaky-Manipulative-Mum-N-Dad-Tricks(tm).
I'll also note that if your child has a real behavioural malfunction beyond being a spoilt little shit then this will only make things far worse.
And finally, the most important ingredient is left out of 1-2-3 Magic!
LOVE!!
If the kid only ever gets interaction from you in the shape of stoney discipline then they will have no reason to respect you. Even if you are being fair. Give them love and they will listen. Not even solely as a reward but for it's own sake and as often as you can. I've been giving Fuzzy Wuzzy random cuddles, kisses and affectionate epithets for months and he has started to do what I say when I say it. Because he craves the approval of those that love him.
Wouldn't you?
What it amounted to was a three hour video from a PHD Psychotherapist about controlling children's behaviour. While that may not seem worth $10 a head, the three hours free child care that came with it certainly was.
1, 2, 3, Magic is basically a child behaviour control technique. A process to follow when the kid acts up or misbehaves. It is designed in such a way as to get them to comply with your demands before the punishment is doled out. It takes a certain idea of what is right and wrong to apply the method going in, but if you follow the procedure all will be goodness and light.
This method would benefit people who:
- Haven't done squat about discipline in the past.
- Have no consistency in their approach.
- Are at their wits end.
- Don't have a child with a more serious problem.
It basically harnesses the simple concept of having a discipline regimen and applying it consistently and fairly. That's it. By adding a specific structure they created a saleable product based on something every parent should bloody well know in the first place.
The presentation includes a lot of details around the logic behind a kids behaviour, what they will and will not respond to and how to better view your role as a parent. I would recommend one checking it out but only as a single peice in your repertoire of No-Good-Sneaky-Manipulative-Mum-N-Dad-Tricks(tm).
I'll also note that if your child has a real behavioural malfunction beyond being a spoilt little shit then this will only make things far worse.
And finally, the most important ingredient is left out of 1-2-3 Magic!
LOVE!!
If the kid only ever gets interaction from you in the shape of stoney discipline then they will have no reason to respect you. Even if you are being fair. Give them love and they will listen. Not even solely as a reward but for it's own sake and as often as you can. I've been giving Fuzzy Wuzzy random cuddles, kisses and affectionate epithets for months and he has started to do what I say when I say it. Because he craves the approval of those that love him.
Wouldn't you?
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