Fuzzules

Fuzzy Wuzzy has a habit of running full bolt from one end of the house to the other. He stops himself by crashing into the TV and laughing uproariously. He has done it so hard so often that he has pushed the back panel of the TV cabinet off. This is solid wood panels nailed into place and not just some poxy laminated MDF mind you.

ARGH!!

A little Slice Of paradise

As my dearest mother has pointed out, I have failed to blog about my holiday in Sydney recently. The one where my brother finally tied the knot with his girl of some 2 to three years. I'll call him Weany (cause he is half my size but the elder brother) and I'll call her Stunna (cause she is one).

Yes, one week of fully paid apartment in Northern Sydney to enjoy some of the fruits of the sea and one evening of love, custom and a hell of a party. The other four days of keeping the kids under control was fulsome in it's tiring way. You see the wind was shocking so we couldn't get to the beach much. Even then the beach right out our front door was very rough and had blue bottles swarming.

The one day I did have a morning at the beach left me with buoyed spirits for the rest of the day.

But on the plus side I could hang out with my parents whom I love dearly and see Weany finally come to the realisation that it is all over and he can at last settle down whilst generally chilling the f*&k out. I won't repeat the little dummy spit he had at me and the other groomsmen before the reception.

But one of the best things of all was my lovely little string bean as the flower girl. She was in serious danger of upstaging the bride. Her hair, her outfit and above all her chirpy and vivacious demeanor set everyone to adoration. Especially Nan.

A litle trip to Hell

I had a free corporate training junket to the coast last week. Not only was it great socialisation with my colleagues, but my family could join me for a mini-break at the beach.

Or so one would hope. One of the problems with having ankylosing spondilitis is aphthae. Aphthae are severe mouth and throat ulcers. Very painful stuff. As luck would have it I had a break out on Wednesday night. Heres a lovely picture of one (note, not from my mouth)



My outbreak was a little different. I'm not talking unkissable lips. I'm talking a major infestation of my entire throat. Multiple ulcers. One that even extended down the back of my throat. It wasn't pretty.

I really can't describe how painful it is. Think of it as having a raw and red open wound in your throat. Every time you swallow is pure agony. Any food is like salt and sandpaper.

You know how you constantly blink without knowing it to keep your eyeballs moist? Well you also constantly swallow so you don't drown in your own saliva. And I felt the passage of every single one of these swallows in excruciating detail.

I can only think of how insane I must have looked to my fellow employees as I would wince in horror every 5 minutes.

No one knows what it's like. I've never met another AS sufferer and my family is tired of wasting sympathy on me.

What am I to do?

Harden the f*&k up of course.

Weaning

Stare Bear has popped off the breakfast bumps after only a year. He is a much better eating baby than the other two were. So I suppose he is easily getting everything he needs from the food we give him.

You see, unlike the other two, Stare Bear HATES to eat canned baby food. He does love pureed family food though. So each dinner has a portion put in the blender for him. He loves it dearly. He especially loves Lamb Roast. Just like his old man.

So, the boobs are in full itch mode and Lishy is praying she doesn't get the evil mastitis.

Isn't it genius how that word contains 'tit'.

A Minor Vent

The good wife and I recently had some bi fold doors installed in the house.

They look great but they do need some work. Of course there is a small list of niggles about the general workmanship but by and large we have gotten what we paid for.

Until Yesterday.

Fuzzy Wuzzy, tearing up the joint like a 3 year old is want to do, got his shoe caught underneath one of the doors. A moment of tugging and his foot was free. This was sufficient to unseat the whole door and bring it crashing down on his head.

Luckily the door hit the back of the sofa and didn't go all the way to the ground. I am in dread to think what would have happened if it did. Fuzzy Wuzzy had a bright red ear and he was freaked out. But it soon passed and he was back to tearing up the joint.

Examining the door I found that one of the mounting holes for the track rollers at the top had been drilled too large, so the installer had stuck a roll of cardboard in the hole to make it smaller. There must have been enough give in it to allow the door to tilt off it's base and fall out. Both the mounting hole and the door track itself were bent out of shape from the weight of the door. Coincidentally, the door will have to be completely replaced now the wood has been essentially gouged out at the top.

Incredible!

We'll see what comes of the visit this week from the shop we bought it from. No no, I'll not name names for now.

1-2-3 Magic!

Recently the wife and I attended church. Calm down calm down, we aren't converting. We were attending a parenting workshop called "1, 2, 3 Magic!" The workshop was being held at Kippax community church.

What it amounted to was a three hour video from a PHD Psychotherapist about controlling children's behaviour. While that may not seem worth $10 a head, the three hours free child care that came with it certainly was.

1, 2, 3, Magic is basically a child behaviour control technique. A process to follow when the kid acts up or misbehaves. It is designed in such a way as to get them to comply with your demands before the punishment is doled out. It takes a certain idea of what is right and wrong to apply the method going in, but if you follow the procedure all will be goodness and light.

This method would benefit people who:

• Haven't done squat about discipline in the past.


• Have no consistency in their approach.


• Are at their wits end.


• Don't have a child with a more serious problem.

It basically harnesses the simple concept of having a discipline regimen and applying it consistently and fairly. That's it. By adding a specific structure they created a saleable product based on something every parent should bloody well know in the first place.

The presentation includes a lot of details around the logic behind a kids behaviour, what they will and will not respond to and how to better view your role as a parent. I would recommend one checking it out but only as a single peice in your repertoire of No-Good-Sneaky-Manipulative-Mum-N-Dad-Tricks(tm).

I'll also note that if your child has a real behavioural malfunction beyond being a spoilt little shit then this will only make things far worse.

And finally, the most important ingredient is left out of 1-2-3 Magic!

LOVE!!

If the kid only ever gets interaction from you in the shape of stoney discipline then they will have no reason to respect you. Even if you are being fair. Give them love and they will listen. Not even solely as a reward but for it's own sake and as often as you can. I've been giving Fuzzy Wuzzy random cuddles, kisses and affectionate epithets for months and he has started to do what I say when I say it. Because he craves the approval of those that love him.

Wouldn't you?

Potty A Go Go

Fuzzy Wuzzy is now fully potty trained. We still fit him with a nappy at night and if we have to travel for more than an hour. As far as skills go though, he goes when he has to and even dresses himself now all he has to deal with is undies. Thank you to Nan for sending the Thomas the Tank Engine branded undies. They were the extra push he needed.

I feel as though a great wait has been lifted from my Shoulders. He can do no wrong. Well, not for at least a week.

Proud Potty

Fuzzy Wuzzy did his first deposit into the toilet last night. He heaved and heaved and mouthed words he could not speak because of all the heaving. Then the inevitable -plop- sounded and he went nuts with excitement. We have spent the last week building him up to this event you see.

For a parent, it is a great time of celebration with praise and chocolate heaped upon the executor of the task.

Like all great moments in a child's development, this one did not pass without a certain witticism from Fuzzy Wuzzy.

"It looks like a sausage!" he exclaimed. Loudly and proudly I might add.

Do I have a feacalphiliac on my hands? Time will tell.

Thredbo - I liked It!

One of the great implied traditions of living in Canberra is that you go to the snow every year. I imagine this is in part due to:
* Living but an hour and a half from the slopes makes it convenient.
* Living in a capital city you have more than enough money to afford to go
* The ads tell you that you ought to and who are we mere citizens to deny the beast its measure?

So, after 12 years of living in Canberra I had yet to go to the snow. This is because:
* Even an hour and a half is too long to spend on a bus in my opinion.
* Even being on a relatively high salary, getting by isn't as cheap as it used to be.
* I automatically disregard ads that try to sell me things I'm not already interested in.

I think the latter is a sort of a 'conditioned fiscal safety measure' I've developed from watching too much TV.

Despite all this, I went to the snow this weekend. It was my brothers Bucks getaway thingy. So I could hardly refuse.

I had a great time.

But it was Thredbo. Be advised, Thredbo is for the serious skier. Apart from skiing and snowboarding, Thredbo has nothing to offer you couldn't get anywhere else.

But I am told that Perisher Blue and Blue Cow have a wider variety of 'fun in the snow' available beyond skiiing. Especially Perisher Blue.

So I guess that's next years holiday already planned. These months are also the best time to go as far as weather is concerned.

A Rainy Morning in Canberra

Twas a rainy morning in Canberra yesterday. This was massively inconvenient to me and the Lish. The reason why is, she had to bring Fuzzy Wuzzies mattress in from the front porch.

The mattress was on the front porch because that is where the best sun falls on our property.

We needed the best sun because we were trying to dry out said mattress. the mattress obviously being wet.

The mattress was wet because I had had to clean it with soap and water.

I had to clean the mattress because Fuzzy Wuzzy had wet it.

Fuzzy Wuzzy had wet the mattress with the contents of his bladder. The extent of wetting indicates more than one bladders worth of his urine got into it.

He was able to do this because he has taken to stripping off ENTIRELY at night. He has become quite the nudity ninja as well. Lish and I had no idea he had been disrobing after lights out.

I'm not exaggerating when I say, the puddle of piss he was sleeping in at the time was larger than him. The mattress has a foam core and, thankfully, I think it repelled most of the night water.

If you don't have at least one bed disaster built on a foundation of urine I don't think you qualify as a real parent. We have had roughly 10 all up so far. That doesn't include poonami floods that break the banks and blot the landscape of clothing as far as the eye can see. Always fun those ones. Stare bear has had two of those in the last two days.

Oh the travails.

The Next Place To Be

Having studied in Canberra from 1995 to 1999, I missed out on the last big town centre creation. That Town centre is Gunghalin and I missed out in that I didn't get a new home there while they were going cheap.

I picked up my inlaws house nice and cheap and while it is half way up a hill, the neighbours trees block the view. They are big ugly rubbish dropping trees to boot and they endanger my phone line.

But I'm not here to whine about that, I'm here to crow about this. The planned developments for the Molonglo Valley.

That there is pristine, untouched farmland with an idyllic creek, spectacular views of the mountains and the most central location in Canberra I've ever seen outside Civic. They have to kick off the existing lease holders, clean up the decades of agricultural industry, generally tidy up the place and pollute the creek. But if they put it together nicely with big suburban roads and decent sized blocks I'll be in like flynn.

Dinner Discipline Disaster

Well, I guess it had to be.

My dear little Fuzzy Wuzzy is very head strong and obstinate. Normally I'd appreciate this 'take no crap' attitude in a person. As a child it means that he has seen through my facade and realised that going straight to bed isn't actually my desired dinnertime result. By both not eating AND going to bed without dinner he has thwarted my real desire. That desire of course is to get him to eat all his meal every night without a fuss.

I gambled a short term loss for a long term gain and lost. I think I've failed to factor in who my boy is and how certain strategies will work on a mental level. He wins through successfully defying my authority. That's all. A petty victory is still a victory. He isn't stupid and that's no lie.

So now I must turn my attention to a new strategy. If I have learned from this I need to show I understand what motivates my boy. Discipline certainly isn't it.

I think I may have to, once again, gamble a short term loss for the hope of a long term gain. If he doesn't eat, then eating is not what will happen. I will simply remove the remains of his food without a fuss at 6:30 that that will be the end of it. No confrontation, no demands and no direct discipline. And certainly no dessert. Is that a capitulation? I don't think so.

I am simply removing my authority from the equation. If I remove that which motivates him to defiance, all that's left is the motivation to satisfy himself. If I quietly deny food then he will have to think about the problem in the context of only himself. Maybe he'll smarten up his act on his own.

I certainly hope so.

Charny Labour Club - It Is Not To Be.

I was hopeful about Charnwood Labour Club being a good place to take kids and have a meal.

It is not to be it seems. The playground is outside in the smokers cage.

So even in Summer the conditions would be undesirable. When given the rapidly reducing amount of places where smokers can go I think I'll leave Charny to them.

A Rare Find

A new suburb has opened up in Ginnindera. it is called Forde and they are yet to build the first display village. But, they have built a very sizeable playground with some great architectural features as well as play equipment. It even has a band stand and fresh picnic areas.

Ten out of ten. But it's a long way to go for just a park.

Kid Friendly Restaurants

In Canberra there is a certain inevitability that a kid friendly restaurant resides within the confines of a club. I imagine this is due to the fact that they have floorspace to spare and have a 'services for members' mindset. This is at odds with an actual restaurant's objective to serve as much food to as many people as quickly as they can.

As such, dining out with small kiddies in tow in Canberra involves a brush with the pokies, the reveler and those bang up for some grown up entertainment. Luckily, clubs are cleaning up their acts and washing down their character in favour of a greater throughput of customers.

So, a quick definition. A Kid Friendly Restaurant is a restaurant, as distinct from a fast food outlet, which has a dedicated children's play facility.

The Hellenic Club

I have to admit that I like the decor at the Hellenic club. All the columns and archaeological replicas are great. They have a dedicated kids room with colouring in activities, toys, plastic play equipment and a TV. It is a fairly sedate affair really but it is fully contained and locked with a carer on duty. The big downside is that they have very limited opening hours.

Lime Cafe - The Mawson Club.

I'm not at liberty to comment on the facilities at The Lime Cafe because I've never been there. I have a friend who assures me it is all great though. So one day I will partake.

The Labour Club - Charnwood

Me and Charnwood have a perilous relationship. I've already commented on what you might expect from a trip to Charnwood before. The new Labour Club in Charnwood took over the space from the Tavern and cleaned it all up. Or so I'm told. Apparently you can get banned for life for swearing nowadays. Thats a great family standard and I wish I could apply it at home with more rigour than I do right now. Though that would see myself on the street more nights than not. I have seen the equipment from afar and it is immense so I think Charnwood may get a look in this weekend.

That is all I have for now. Feel free to add your own locales in the comments and I'll update.

A Culinary Conversation

Fuzzy Wuzzy: I did poos!

Goatee: No you didn't, just lots and lots of wees.

Fuzzy Wuzzy: I go bath, do poos

Goatee: No, poos go in the potty or the toilet

Fuzzy Wuzzy: I do chocolate in the toilet. I put it in my hands and *rar rar rar* and then I eat it!

Goatee: May that day never come to my house.

Fuzzy Wuzzy: *blank stare* I want chocolate , pleeeeeeease.



I highly recommend Hansel and Gretel in Belconnen for chocolate. It goes well with their coffee. They have a big couch there too. It is surprising how much time kids can spend getting to know a couch and they do it all in the one fairly indestructible space.

And not a potty in sight.

Where not to go in Canberra

I take my kids to Charnwood shops on a regular basis. Disturbing? Not so much, at least, not until some sherbert snorting numpty started distributing pipe bombs around.

I realise this event didn't occur at the shops. But all the same it is hardly a long reach for someone to decide shops as a target instead of a letterbox. The chromosomally challenged nitwit who did this may only have been doing it for a laugh. They were only small bombs after all.

It still bears concern that pipe bombs can pack a severe punch precisely because they are so small. One hundred and eleven people in a crowd got injured by a pipe Bomb at the Atlanta games. I know how Charnwood gets crowded on a Friday night. There are lots of places there to hide a pipe bomb. That wasn't an invitation for all the yuppies to descend on the place by the way.

This being so close to firecracker night I have little doubt the calls for a ban will start anew. Where else could he 'possibly' have gotten the explosives? What can we do to save people from their own stupidity, or even the stupidity of others?

Some say build a solid wall around Charnwood. Some say build a solid wall around Canberra.

Still others say fill it with water while you are at it.

When Parliament is in session.

Dinnertime Success.

It took but one night of hardship. Just one night. Since that one tempestuous and morally questionable night Fuzzy Wuzzy has sat down at each meal and eaten the food I have put forward. Three nights in a row he has done it and I am very pleased. Lishy Dishy grudgingly admits success but still feels the method was far too cruel.

The first night was pizza and garlic bread, an easy meal. He always eats this.

Second night was butter Chicken with veges and rice. I fully expected a battle royale. But it was not to be. Mouthful after mouthful of spicy curry was utterly demolished.

Tonight I gave the Weber grill a first try and did a Lamb roast. He normally eats a lamb roast and veg with ease because all the food gets pureed together with gravy. It was big chunks of meat and veg with gravy on top. No argument. Straight down the hatch.

I am pleased as punch.

Dinner Discipline

I have a friend who is a father of two and a chef. He blogs as The Culinarian about his food experiences. I've been reading the trials and tribulations of getting his kids to eat well. In particular is this post about dinnertime discipline.

My First son, Fuzzy Wuzzy, had great eating habits as a baby. My Daughter, String Bean, not so much. With much angst and confrontation at dinner time, String Bean has matured and relented with age and now eats whatever we put in front of her. Unfortunately, the last of her bad eating habits were shared with Fuzzy Wuzzy and now he won't touch anything that isn't 'easy meat' and carbs. My Second son, Stare bear, is doing well with mashed up family foods. We've never had to feed him a tin of baby food. Actually, he is quite the chirping baby bird when it comes to meal times. Just like his old man.

Given the Culinarians' success with his dinnertime discipline method, I decided to employ his method on my son. I started last night and plan to put down how things are going.

So, for dinner last night we had Lamb Ragout. The good wife, Lishy Dish, made this from scratch with white wine, gravy powder and select herbs. Lamb chops, carrot, pumpkin and beans were the bulk of the meal. Cooked half a day in the slow cooker and served on a bed of jasmine rice. In the end is was a good hearty stew with a mild and tasty flavour that is easy to chew up. No too 'out there' for a young palette.

Once it was ready to eat, I laid out the rules for the kids. You have to make your expectations clear ahead of events so your children don't start to think they are being singled out for torture when they act up, as is their inevitable want. I expected them to eat what they were given. They would get a chance to get used to the food but refusal to eat would result in immediate bed time.

Stare Bear ate his easily. He didn't finish his bowl but we always make more than he needs. Secretly, I think he is starting to hold out for the sweet stuff afterwards.

String Bean tucked in and slowly worked it down over half an hour. But only after having the first mouthful fed to her with a bit of cajouling. It was important to keep the TV off and the toys away so she doesn't get distracted. Every now and then we have to keep her momentum going by hand, but she eats it. That's the important thing.

Now to Fuzzy Wuzzy. As is his usual tack he takes the first mouthful following threats of no chocolate for dessert. From there he holds the food in his mouth without chewing it. After ten minutes and repeated warnings he is made to spit it out along with the mouthful of saliva that has developed. So that was it, the hammer came down.

He was straight off to bed, which means he was straight to the door crack whinging to be released. Eventually I had to unscrew his lightbulb. The door knob on on the inside has been removed for some time now (we get a lot of discipline issues with him).

Over the course of half an hour of begging Lishy Dish was getting worn down. We discuss whether this method is strict or over the line into cruel. I relent and agree to let him have another mouthful to try and prove himself. But he isn't coming out if he doesn't eat it quick. He doesn't eat it as I expected. But by now he has given up and has put himself to bed.

I was concerned he would be starving but this morning he didn't even show interest in breakfast. Even though I made him his favourite raspberry jam on toast he took two attempts to eat it.

Tonight shall dictate the level of success. I'll let you know tomorrow.

The Perils of my Children

When they were babies I'd carry them football style on my hip, so they'd use all their muscles to lift their head up and look around. Combined with the motion of walking it made for quite a workout for a baby. It sounds rough and cruel I know, I've been 'brought to task' over it it sometimes. But like any exercise you only do it for short periods. So not so rough or cruel after all. Some of our friends wrap their babies in cotton wool. When I feel how those babies flop in my arms like rag dolls, I see the dividends my method gives.

When my first son was a baby I punch him playfully in the gut and on the cheek. He would laugh uproariously. It is his own version of a jolly good tickling. I'd hold my daughter upside down over my head, it was her favourite thing ever. My second son loves a good bear hug and a nibble on the cheek. People have fretted insanely about this when I've told them. But they admit they fret more about the impression 'some people' may get, they don't fret that it actually might cause the kids harm. It doesn't because it is no more rigorous than a tickle no matter how energetic it may look.

If the kids are bungie jumping by age 12, my job will be done.

The Best of Free Canberra Playgrounds

Living in Canberra, we tend to be spoiled for choice when it comes to kids entertainment. Sure, we don't have amusement parks or constant visits from The Wiggles and High 5, but we have playgrounds. Both the free sort and the commercial sort.

Parks and Playgrounds in Canberra are very well serviced. Every suburb has multiple playgrounds, some have free BBQ's and some are better maintained than others. Actually, best to pack some disinfectant for the BBQ's in case you score a dodgy one.

Then there's the likes of Kids City/Rampage/Zone. A commercial playground and cafe in a warehouse. Brilliant! Low running costs make for cheap admission for parents which inevitably means high throughput. Mayhap a bit too much noise to be an 'escape'.

But for a cash strapped individual such as myself, I like the free playground and cafe variety. I also like a good free playground in general, so here is a list of spots I have found to my taste on the Northside.

Bunnings Belconnen

They have a nice little static playground with a coffee cart being operated by Dash coffee. It's indoors, heated, next to the nursery and outdoor displays and the biggest bonus is a fully enclosed fence with a pool gate. Trap the kids in there. Top marks!

The Mushroom

Belconnen Markets has a huge foam Mushroom acting as a roof for a great custom play area. It is fully astroturfed, has lots of play equipment and the innards of the mushroom itself form part of the playground. Good for playing monsters. Plus, it's at the markets, endless options for a high quality snack fest. It is kind of exposed to the howling winds though.

Cafe Injoy

Cafe Injoy is good in itself. Plus they have a pun name, how delightful! Now, upon the verge of the carpark, they have a fenced play... thingy. Well, it is a very small piece of playground equipment that only seems to have a small tube slide to its merit. Plus I don't think well of the gate lock, being within easy reach of wee hands. But it is Cafe Injoy. VERY outdoors though, no good for winter.

North Lyneham Shops

The playground next to North Lyneham Shops is an old wooden one. It is in need of replacement but still in fairly good repair. The bonus here is the great old equipment, the kind that is so big it is almost a deathtrap. Maximum kid thrills! The spiral slide is huge, the tyre swing uses a truck tyre and the roundabout is old, rusty steel with the force of a flywheel once you get it spinning. Plus BBQ's and lots of flat paths for the kiddies to ride their bikes on. Best pack your coats, it is totally exposed.

Yerrabi Pond

Yerrabi Pond in Gunghalin is a family community Mecca. There is a good sized playground for the little ones, gigantic flying foxes for all and sundry, skateboarding areas and the pond is nearby, just right for feeding the ducks. Some of the skate park is right next to the playground though. You need to keep a close eye on the kids lest they get cut in half by speeding emo's. There is a moderately sheltered BBQ area with public toilets to boot. Though, I usually avoid public toilets regardless of where they are and how modern.

What free playgrounds would you rate in Canberra, especially on the Southside?

Inception

Here it is, somewhere to crow about what being a dad and being a dad in Canberra is like for me. And hopefully, others will join me in time.